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Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Home Office

I guess as a chronic "job hopper" it was only a matter of time before I job hopped right into my own bed, which according some evil gossipers, is exactly where my career began. Finally, after struggling to reach the corner office, I've finally got one, in the corner of the bedroom. I can't complain though, I can look out on the roses, gardenia and jasmine in the back yard.

As I complete my second full week at my new office I'm noticing a slow and steady degradation of several important habits that one would say are the very basis of group living, or perhaps the foundation of civilization itself. I remember when my Father started his consulting practice from home, he would say things like: "I still put my suit and tie on to go the office." or "its important to dress like you're working". I'm finding those adages really hard to live up to. In fact, my Grandmother used to warn me about leaving the house without clean underwear on, "in case you're in an accident. " How many accidents do you have between the kitchen and the bathroom? You can probably see where this is going.

Yes, I am a people pleaser. I realize my only motivation to shave, shower and shine is the prospect of seeing people and having people see me. The only person who sees me is my husband, Alfredo and he doesn't seem to care if I'm in boxers or less. Scruffy the Poodle, my office assistant, is happy to see me anyway I look. However if I'm nude he hides because he's afraid that I'll take him into the shower with me. Which at this point is an irrational fear since I didn't shower today till 1:00PM. Yes, higiene is the first thing to go when you work from home.

I am more fortunate than most home office dwellers. I have the joy of hearing my husband on the phone working in his office. He actually has an office! With computers, servers, blinking lights, a printer and a fax. He's a techie so its like having my own personal computer support just a holler away. "HONEY!!! the system is down!" Unlike my previous job this techie is nice to me or he goes without dinner or...other stuff. I will explore this constant togetherness and see how our relationship will flourish in future blogs.

I have very large mahogany desk that was a dining table in a previous life. On it you will find the same things found in your typical cubicle: tape dispenser, computer, overstuffed in-box, stapler, etc. Of course there also the comforts of home: many pictures of my 14 year marriage to my husband Alfredo and our son Alfy. Included as well are my collection of Star Wars action figures from the 70's, little Mexican Day of the Dead skeleton figurines and a miniature Asterix and his companion Obelix. So I'm quite content to play escape from the Death Star on my desk during webinars and conference calls.

I've noticed small things that go on around your home that you miss while you're at the office. One of them is the parade of people that knock on your door: Postmen, UPS, Telephone book (WTF!?!) delivery, cute Mormons, Jehova's Witness(not so cute), neighbors, etc. All seem to break up the day. I've noticed that the leaf blowers drone on for hours. That the dog really doesn't do anything but sleep all day. Despite my declining higiene, my hunger is on a schedule as strict as a Swiss watch.

My fear as I see fewer and fewer people, I will become a pitiable Howard Hughes figure. I'll have long curling nails and hair, wearing hospital gowns, scraggly beard and hairy ears. Of course I will document all of this here and on Facebook. My postings will begin with phrases like: Did you know you can still use the keyboard with 5 inch ragged fingernails?

So this is my newest adventure into "inner space". Just me, Alfredo and Scurry the Poodle. Wish us luck.