Thursday, May 5, 2011

Who Are the Iranians and What Do They Want With Me?

OK, according to my blog stats there were 13 Iranians, 64 Russians and 1 Tanzanian reading my blog.  There were 12 Chinese as well as 15 Japanese.  I just want to say to all of you: don't be shy.  I know that the life of a middle aged kook living in a glamorous city such as Miami must be fascinating.  Reading this you can learn about feral chickens, aging, taxation, and assorted ruminations by a man who spent the better part of his 30's on anti-depressants.  I am glad I can give you a small insight into why Poodles are dogs for real men and proper etiquette in dealing with middle aged gays. 

However, is it really fair that I don't know anything about you?  I've always found it weird, whether here or on Facebook that there are people who read pages and postings and never comment or leave any trace that they are interested in you at all.  Then one day you run into them at a party, airport, restraining order hearing, and they know all about your postings, the picture of you passed out on the back of a parade float and anything else you put up online.  Come on Mr. Tanzania, or the 24 Dutch people (soccer team perhaps?) tell me a little about yourselves!

Alfredo, my husband, says you are all hackers. Really?  In my heart I am hoping that there is a small group of gay middle-aged Russians, working out issues in the cold heart of Siberia, reading my blog with laughter and hope that they too will join a gay swim team someday.  I am hoping that Mr. Tanzania might have a dead cousin who needs me to put $52 million dollars in my bank account for safekeeping while the legalities are sorted out.  I'm wondering if there's a Gay-Straight alliance in Hokkaido, Japan reading my blog and belly laughing and bowing at my jokes in the way only the Japanese can do. 

I'm thinking there might be 13 Persian drag queens hiding behind hijabs thinking: "wow, I thought the chickens in Tehran were loud, I'm sure glad I don't live in West Dade."  Who are these mysterious strangers, trolling the massive internet and reading my blog?

Even if you are hackers, Chinese government bureaucrats, Iranian Jihadists, closeted gay Russians, feel free to leave a comment, a hello.  I'm here for you.....really.